Ashes Flashes

Amid the carnage that was the second Ashes test was a great line from Ian Healey: 'The Aussies will be saying, "We've got them right where they want us".'

As the 3rd one starts with spinner Beer drafted ( see what I did there?) into the team, headlines featuring the words "Beer and Skittles" surely await.

Words Of A Thousand Men

Amidst all of the many remarkably non-revelatory WikiLeaks stories, it was heartening to see the word "feckless" still in use, having been used to describe Silvio Berlusconi.

I last heard it in Nick Lowe's Rose of England, where "for her feckless boy she did weep and wail".

It brings to mind the image of everyone scurrying for their dictionaries to look up "recalcitrant" after Paul Keating famously dismissed Mahatir, the Malaysian Prime Minister, for so being.

While My Qatar Gently Weeps

Actually Qatar must be laughing uproariously. Well I must say, I never picked that one.

If nothing else it did serve to show the truly Byzantine nature of the voting process. In the second round Qatar's vote count actually went backwards. After all those months of assessments, one guy changed his mind in the middle of the vote. Ridiculous! As no doubt will be the heat.

Funnily enough, we now have Sepp Blatter proposing to change the scheduling of the tournament. Surely, the heat and the scheduling requirements should have been part of the assessment but logic appears to have little to do with it.

2018,2022...2026?

The World Cup venues for the next 2 tournaments will be decided very shortly. Local pundits have been talking up Australia's chances for the 2022 tournament but in the last few weeks I've heard two analysts say that we've got no chance.

Firstly, there's money. Put simply, the USA outstrips everybody when it comes to size of venues and the TV revenue they can generate. The latter is particularly dependent on which timezone the event is held on. In contrast, according to the latest reports, Australia will generate the least income.

Secondly, and this is the one not often mentioned as everyone fixates on 2018 and 2022, China is apparently bidding for the 2026 World Cup. If that's so, it's hard to see FIFA not awarding it to them and therefore means that there is no way that two World Cups in succession will be awarded to the Asian zone. QED as my maths teacher used to say. For you young folks that's Latin for Quite Easily Done.

But let's see if something other than money calls the shots. I for one, am not holding my breath. England and the USA are my tips.

MyProblem

So to follow-up the MySchool website, we now have MyHospital as the Government gives us all the "transparency" I don't remember anyone asking for. It's funny how there's a lot less disclosure about the things people are asking for, especially if it involves their own plans: MyNationalBroadbandNetwork anyone?

While they're at it though, how about a MyPolitician site so I can look up to see how much taxpayer-funded expenditure he/she is running up and how many hours he/she is actually spending in Parliament.

Summertime Blues

Another 4 years, another Ashes series. In years gone by, we'd have taken a long lunch in a pub, taking advantage of the summer timezone difference with Queensland, and watched the entire first session.

In those days, a test series seemed to span the whole summer starting in late November and running through to late January, over the Australia Day weekend in Adelaide. The timing of the tests seemed completely in tune with the rhythm of the season.

Nowadays, all five tests are finished after the New Year test in Sydney. And you don't go drinking at lunchtime anymore.

What are we supposed to talk about for the rest of summer?

Complete Bankers

While checking exchange rates today, I noticed my bank has increased the price of transferring money.

Now it wasn't a large increase. In fact it was only $1.00. But it's not the size of the increase that bothers me; it's the roundness of the figure. In this world of supposedly tight margins and fractional percentages that banks keep telling us they do business in, it seems quite remarkable that one of their fees, after all those detailed calculations should go up by exactly $1.00?

It illustrates perfectly how they structure their fees: think of a number, now think of a bigger number.

Friday Night Wisdom

Drunk man 1: Toy Story 3 is the greatest movie ever made.

Drunk man 2: That's like saying Bugs Bunny is the greatest ever movie character!

Drunk man 1: Correct!

Leonard Still Goin' Cohen

Caught Leonard Cohen last night. What a performer and what a set of musicians he has with him!

Aside from being transfixed by the music, I was also struck by the man's humility,warmth and humour. He tells us: "We've been on this tour for 3 years now. Back then I was 73: just a kid with a crazy dream..."

Close The Openings

I heard today that 4.5 billion people watched the Olympic opening ceremony. That's a lot of people. I wasn't one of them. I just don't get the whole point of having hours of people dancing and singing before a sports event.

Accepting however, that there is clearly a huge audience of people not like me, I don't see why they don't save a lot of money by dropping the sport event altogether and just holding the opening ceremony. You wouldn't have to build new stadiums or an athletes village. You wouldn't need the athletes. You also wouldn't have to wait every four years. Conversely, and most importantly, having had all these cermonies through the year, when we did actually get round to having a sporting event, you then wouldn't need an opening ceremony to accompany it. That way, when the next Olympics comes around, I could just sit down on the first evening and watch some sport!

Cold Case

How is it that all the witnesses on Cold Case can remember what song was playing at the time?

Eggnominious Failure

Last weekend, having bought a coffee and a hot bread roll, I set out to make myself a bacon and egg roll. Now the plan was to do this using the microwave, so that it could be done quickly and made with the roll still warm.

Bacon was quickly done to perfection but a medium-high minute later, catastrophe! Egg explosion. Everywhere! Clearly, despite the yolk having been punctured and the container having been covered, one minute on medium-high was way too long. It was in fact enough time for the yolk to reach egglear fission-achieving temperatures with the cover being blown off and mutant egg fallout strewn throughout the oven.

The most depressing thing was not the minimalist bacon roll that I had been reduced to or even the substantial mess that needed to be cleaned-up afterwards. No, the most depressing aspect of the whole sorry saga was being confronted with the irrefutable evidence that yet another piece of knowledge, humble though it have may been, had been lost from my mind.

Above Us Only Sky

Below us only Wolves and West Ham...

Some wit has added that to the plaque on the John Lennon statue at Liverpool.

I can't remember a time when the Liverpool derby featured both teams in the bottom four. And to add to Liverpool's pain, having lost again and sunk to second last, even the additional line on the plaque doesn't read true anymore.

Last of The Soul Men

Solomon Burke was huge in every sense of the word. Father of over 21 kids according to the voice-over at the end of this track.

And now he's gone too. On the same day as Dame Joan Sutherland no less. But I'm a soul man rather than an opera fan, so while I can appreciate La Stupenda's reputation, it is the death of the last of the 60's male soul greats that leaves me with the greater sense of loss.

The Little Guys

Tony Curtis and Norman Wisdom are both with us no more. The world's just lost 2 of its greatest little guys. While both were big stars in their day, it was through their characters that I remember them.

When we were kids, Tony Curtis was Danny Wilde in The Persuaders alongside Roger Moore's Lord Brett Sinclair. In what has to be one of the greatest opening credits ever made on TV with a great John Barry theme, Tony Curtis's character, Danny Wilde, was shown as the street fighter who had to battle his way all through life in stark contrast to his lofty offsider.

Norman Wisdom was from an even earlier era and while we certainly didn't understand any of the social satire, as kids you couldn't help but identify with the beleaguered Pitkin as he struggled his way against the odds with nothing but his good intentions to get him through.

In a world where stardom and fame are everything and yet which still feels all the more fleeting for it, the characters played by Tony Curtis and Norman Wisdom leave us with a sense of longing for a time that seemed more innocent and genuine. It's illusory of course but then that's what actors do. May they both rest in peace.

People Walking Backwards

Is rubbish.

Job Search Results Check - 3

Only 228 jobs listed for the week following the September quarter. That's the lowest figure for the year and down from over 600 in July.

I guess you don't want to be looking for work in October...

Whisky RIP

The sense of loss is palpable...

Talented Family

I hear that the British Labour Party has selected Edward Miliband to be its new leader. He beat out his brother, David, to the post. That's quite a talented family, especially when you also remember their musically gifted father, Steve, who had all those hits in the 70's.

Widescreen People

I got myself a nice new widescreen TV a while back and while it's great, you do have to make a call on which setting to use when viewing older non-widescreen shows.

I usually opt to stretch the picture so that it takes up the whole screen but it does mean people look shorter and fatter.

Surprisingly, this is less disconcerting than you might imagine. Possibly it's because I'm finding that when I walk around outside, I also see widescreen people. Everywhere. They waddle amongst us.

Great Software: MS Paint

MS Paint is awesome!

Its total awesomeness is most fully described at Uncyclopedia, complete with examples of the visual wonder that can be achieved with it.

For me, its pure brilliance was best summed up by its makers, the mighty Microsoft, on their Help page (the image, possibly designed with the very product) on their website. Having ascertained that you can't zoom out, I was asked:

When it came to expressing my thoughts, it really did leave me speechless.

Waiting, Waiting...

I should have known we'd still be waiting to find out who'll be running the country. After all, it took me an hour to vote on Saturday. Apparently someone had forgotten to bring the electoral rolls. You can only wonder. I ask the blankly smiling people with their "Moving Australia Forward" t-shirts if they could start by moving the queue forward. What is it with these volunteers anyway? Don't they realise that their unquestioning enthusiasm comes across like religious zealotry? And I don't talk to those people either! Actually that is an important election tip - always wear headphones (even if they're not connected to anything) to discourage people handing out their rubbish.

To add insult to injury, after queuing for the hour, the guy then asks you if you've voted anywhere else. The polls have only been open for the same hour I've been standing in line. How the hell could I have voted anywhere else?

I am however, forced to spare a thought for 2 other lots of people waiting for much, much longer.

Firstly, 33 miners trapped in Chile, having been found alive days after they had been given up for dead, are now waiting for a relief tunnel to be drilled. The piece of equipment is being sent out there from Australia and according to the news yesterday, they should be out in a few months. Months! They're also having to get NASA to help with getting them food. Hopefully, this will be one of the great survival stories of the year.

Secondly, and on a completely more surreal note, I also heard about people stuck in a traffic jam in China for 9 days. Nine days! Where are they going? Is it still worth going there? I mean if you'd been commuting, you've already missed 2 weeks of work (not to mention the weekend) - you've probably been fired for not showing up! It's like that episode of Dr Who where everyone is just driving around under New York for years. Just wait until everyone in China has a car...

Wrong Song

Had to make a call the other night and just grabbed a CD at random from the bookshelf before making it (I like to set a mood however random it may be). When I say random, obviously I didn't want to put on anything that was likely to drown out the conversation.

Glancing at the selected album, Beatles For Sale, it seemed to be suitable for not drowning out the conversation.

As the phone rang and rang, the first song "No Reply" seemed strangely apt. A wait, another unanswered dial and then "I'm A Loser" chimed through the speakers. One more try I figured. By now "Baby's In Black" had come on with its fateful "Oh dear what can I do? Baby's in black and I'm feeling blue" line and I decided perhaps there's a message here.

It's a great album but don't use it when making a phone call.

Broad Banned

It's hard to understand why everybody's getting in such a lather over which broadband solution is best.

By the time they've finished filtering what we can see on it, it will hardly matter.

Moving Backwards

I heard yesterday that a North Shore school is banning plastic water bottles and replacing them with...drumroll...water bubblers! Wow! I seem to recall these at school (and much high-jinks around them) over 30 years ago. Whatever next? Children walking/cycling to school?

Seriously though, all credit to them. Hopefully they'll be the start of a generation that doesn't feel compelled to walk down George St carrying a water bottle in their hand just in case, you know, you die of thirst, which obviously happens a lot on George St.

What Price Beer?

Popped into our regular haunt the other day only to find that my beer of choice has gone up from $5.60 to $6.80. That's an increase of over 20%, which confirms a mate's theory on the optimal strategy of having one's pay indexed to the price of beer!

It was an already expensive beer brand before the increase. It's not down to increased tax; it's just a straight price-hike by the supplier.

How do they justify that? It's a short-sighted price-gouging tactic though. Not only will the punters change brews but the pubs will also drop it. Our local is the second one in a month from which it is disappearing.

The beer in question? Well let's just say next time I have a beer, just like if Arnie was buying, "I won't be Becks"

Election Fever

At least that's what the papers and the pollsters would have us believe but I don't think so.

A quick look at the Top 5 articles from the 4 Fairfax papers on the Web at lunchtime only had one election story making the top 5 across all 4 of them. And that single story only came in at No. 5 in The Age.

Forget the election! Based on the Top 5 list, the scintillating topics of a 30-second boxing match, an intruder, a fake iPod t-shirt, a disappointing city in Indonesia (but sadly, not a disappointed horse), a car-crash, Jason Akermanis getting sacked and even a maid receiving an inheritance all tickled our fancy more.

Clearly everyone is finding this election pretty dull and there's still 5 more miserable weeks to go. Wouldn't it be great though if the media paid attention to their own sites and noticed just how uninterested we are in this election?

Maybe they could stop covering it for the next 5 weeks! I might even buy the paper...

So, the World Cup eh...

Well, all things considered, that was rather a disappointing final. Even the arrival of my good mate Mick (who, what with Sydney's fantasy-like, as distinct from fantastic, transport system, had to cycle into the city from Pymble to be sure to make it in time) together with strong coffee and egg and bacon rolls couldn't lift the game. That's not to say it wasn't memorable; just a memory that I won't cherish.

The Dutch are complaining about the referee. And well they might; they had far too many players still on the field when the final whistle was blown.

You always want your team to win but ultimately, you want them win in a way that allows you to hold your head up high. You don't want to have to preface or qualify your joy every time you recall it! Only one team played the game that way. Congratulations to Spain. They were deserving winners and what a party that will be!

And of course, special mention to the All Whites, the only unbeaten team of the World Cup!

On a personal note (i.e not a raucous Bb via a Vuvuzela), I'm going to have to get used to waking up and not hearing overnight football scores to ponder over my morning coffee. I fear life is going to be rather dull...

Monday And Somewhere I'd Rather Be...(2)

Where else? The World Cup of course! This picture was from the previous one in Germany 2006.

I hooked up with some Irish guys in Munich who were staying in the same hostel. Trust me, you couldn't afford better accomodation!

We had a great time there. Beer galore, football galore, girls galore! Ah, there was a lot of galore! Actually the above picture was from their backyard but features their souvenir from the tournament. The flag was a lot bigger at ground level than was first realised!

Well, good luck to Spain and Holland. Hopefully we get a great game.

There were plans to go to South Africa to watch it but life has a way of mucking those plans up. And of course, if I was there, I wouldn't have to be getting up at 4.00 am to watch it. Better get to work on the Brazil 2014 plan.

Not A Horse Of Course

Sat down last night to watch Blue Velvet, which I'd never seen before.
I was very confused though, as I thought it was another sequel to National Velvet, so I spent a fair bit of time wondering when the horses were going to come in to it.

It was a very brutal film. It really should have a disclaimer:

"No horses were filmed in the making of this injury."

Looking For The Specific Solution

This week the Government announced that they were approaching East Timor to be one of our external refugee processing sites.

How about that? All that time they were in opposition protesting about it, I never realised that the problem they had with the "Pacific Solution" was over which ocean was being used...

Job Search Results Check - 2

Well it's 3 months since the last look at the Job Search numbers. And this time, my poorly defined search criteria tell me that in the last week there were 618 jobs. This compares pretty favourably with the 413 in April; that's an increase of ooh lots of percent - almost exactly 50 by my reckoning.

It all suggests the job market is heating up again. Didn't help me negotiate a payrise, mind you!

Foregone Conclusion? Apparently So.

Ok, so NSW have already lost the series so the third game is something of an irrelevance.

It would also appear that plenty have written them off before the game even starts.

Check out the prices of the teams' jumpers at the local Rebel Sports store.

Salt with those wounds, anyone?

Damn Lies & Football Statistics!

One of the great things about the World Cup are all the statistics and history-making moments that come out of it. My favourite two:

• Italy only allowed their opponents to have 6 shots on goal in 3 matches. Unfortunately, they also allowed 5 goals to be scored from these 6 shots...
  
  
• Even more amazingly, if Spain or Germany go on to win the World Cup, the only unbeaten team in the entire tournament will be New Zealand!

New Prime Minister

So "Kevin O'Seven's" gone. Guess it was a case of "Not Again O'Ten..."

I don't know why everybody's so relaxed though. Don't they realise Australia's now a Ruddless ship?

As for the discussion over what to call her partner and the suggestions of "First Bloke" etc, while they're amusing, they're also a depressing sign of Americanisation. We haven't called previous Prime Minister's wives "The First Lady" or anything else for that matter, so who cares what Julia's partner is called.

Now on the other hand, if Hilary was to stage a similar coup, or if Sarah was to win the next American election, then indeed it would be a question worth asking. Sadly, I'm sure "First Bloke" would not be the answer.

How Very Droll!

While the new UK Conservative Liberal-Democratic coalition government presents plenty of political difficulties, opportunities abound for headline writers and wordsmiths.

First prize however, must go to the wag who coined the term describing the UK as "The ConDemNation"!

Bangkok - 18 Years Ago

I noticed this today while looking at Wikipedia. Why I was looking at "On This Day" from 2 days ago is hard to explain but on this day, 17 May 1992:

"Three days of popular protests against the government of Prime Minister of Thailand Suchinda Kraprayoon begin in Bangkok, leading to a military crackdown that results in 52 officially confirmed deaths, many disappearances, hundreds of injuries, and over 3,500 arrests."


As they say, the more things change...

A Relic From A Different Age

Found in a locked drawer at work: The U2 File: A Hot Press U2 History. From 1985!

It's like an artefact from a time capsule. So many questions! Who paid $17 for this book and then left it behind? Who'd have thought back in 1985 that U2 would still have another quarter of a century to go? And whatever happened to Bono's hair.

Alphabet City

Forget the British election, the salary cap and the environment. Has anyone ever noticed that Australia's capital cities when ranked in alphabetical order are almost perfect?

Adelaide,
Brisbane,
Canberra,
Darwin,
E...,
F...,
G...
Hobart,

Now, if NSW, West Australia and Victoria got their acts together and replaced Sydney, Perth and Melbourne with Ettalong, Fremantle and Geelong, it would be perfect!

NRL goes Global

It's not often you hear anything about NRL on the BBC World Service. And I mean ever. But the Melbourne Storm's salary cap rort and the whopping penalty they copped last week did rate a mention on the late night news. Just before their story on the Armenian election.

What? Me? Insular?

Today’s paper reads: “Aussies stranded as Europe imposes biggest airspace closure since 9/11…”

Good thing it’s only Aussies being stranded then, otherwise it might be serious.

Seriously, while the Sydney Morning Herald is without doubt a publication in decline, are we not more global than this?

O My Soul: Alex Chilton RIP

This is somewhat belated even by my own lax standards.

A couple of weeks ago, I heard that Alex Chilton had died on March 17, 2010.

This didn't receive anything like the mainstream media coverage that say, Malcolm McLaren's death received. And most people (of the vast numbers of people that read this blog) will say "Who?" but I would also wager that most people have heard Alex Chilton singing "The Letter" by The Box Tops without knowing who the lead singer was. He sung that was when he was only 16.

I also only discovered Alex Chilton late, namely when his subsequent band, Big Star, had their first 2 albums, #1 Record and Radio City, re-released on a single CD. This was simply one of the best CD re-releases ever! Hearing this music for the first time was a revelation. There was something joyous and yet fragile about it at the same time. You also quickly realised that you belonged to a pretty exclusive (read "obscure") club. This was not music that you were about to be hearing on the radio anytime soon. And yet this was not because the music was "difficult" in any way. In fact, the artists influenced by Big Star had been all over the radio: REM and Cheap Trick to name but two of them.

The "obvious" song, if a track can be described as such for appearing as an album track on a Bangles album, was "September Gurls". It was also covered by a strangely hip-to-it, latter-day version of The Searchers.

There were plenty of other delights however, to be found on this CD. "O My Soul", "When My Baby's Beside Me" (a great driving song), "The Ballad of El Goodo", "Don't Lie To Me" and "You Get What You Deserve" were all great to name just a few but the real joy for me was "Thirteen". This beautiful melody over the simplest of arrangements with its innocent vulnerability stood out from the rest. It remains one of my favourite songs of all time. As in "ever, ever" to quote a mate of mine.

Their next work Third/Sister Lovers was also subsequently reissued and in many circles is regarded as their greatest work although much of it was not music that could be readily played live, "Too Wagnerian for my present band", Chilton once noted! To my mind though, Big Star and Alex Chilton as a solo artist never repeated the simple magic of those first 2 albums.

A couple of great articles can be found at Popmatters: a poignant obituary featuring moving first-hand testimony along with an equally heartfelt summary of his career and life.

What the World Needs Now...

...is another Kiss tribute band.

At least that's what's suggested by all the phone number tags having been torn from this "Bass Player Wanted" flyer. Clearly, there's a lot of would-be Gene Simmons walking around the Sydney CBD. Guess it beats my day job too.

On the other hand, the person motivated to scrawl: "How limiting! Do Something More Your Age" would appear to disagree. A lot!

Perhaps that person also tore off all the phone numbers...

Why Don't We Have...Fake Archive Records

When you've only just started a blog, your archive is all but empty; it looks pretty uninteresting.

You should be able to install an existing archive from somewhere to give your blog at least the appearance of gravitas and longevity!

A complete forum would be good too...

The God Particle

Talking of the "The God Particle", I wonder if it's "The Delusion Particle" that makes it so hard to find.

Job Search Results Check

413 jobs this week in my Google Reader job-search feeds.

There's plenty there that I couldn't do, so it's a good thing that I'm currently working, and is no doubt a sign that I could improve my search parameters.

Nonetheless, that's a lot more jobs than were available late last year.

Misnomers

Good Friday? That would be like the Great War then.

Hot Stuff

Heard on the news this morning: an interview with an English guy who's almost accidentally grown the hottest chilli in the world.

It's been very catchily (no pun intended) named: "The Infinity Chilli". That's because, as you might imagine, the taste lasts a long time. To me, the name has a ring to it that also makes it sound a bit like "The God Particle"!

Apparently, half will make for an incredibly hot curry. So I'm guessing you wouldn't want them used in these cocktails...

Road Calm

Today I saw a tourist stop crossing the road to take a picture while only three-quarters of the way across. She seemed completely unaware of the growing line of drivers at the intersection waiting to turn. Now I've been a clueless tourist at various times in my life, so it wasn't the absent-minded thoughtlessness of the tourist that caught my attention; it was the fact that nobody hooted at her.

Maybe everybody's feeling extra-relaxed because we've got 4 days off work.

Monday And Somewhere I'd Rather Be...

What can you say about Mondays that hasn't been said before? I remember reading somewhere that one way to get over the post-holiday blues was to use your holiday photos in a screensaver. I've certainly done that before and it is a great way to remember the good times you had. So, I'm going to use the same approach for Mondays. And today's picture is from Ao Phra Nang, Krabi in Southern Thailand.

I first visited Krabi with my mate Barry back in 1990. The beach was Ao Phra Nang and there was nothing but a few huts there. It was quiet. Too much so for us. We even built a sand-woman for something to do. What can I say? We were young and impatient!

It was however, one of the most beautiful beaches I ever saw and the memory of it stayed with me forever. Funnily enough, Barry tells me he has a picture of it on his desk at work so it struck him likewise. Earlier this year, we returned to Krabi for the first time in 20 years to see how it has changed. It's as beautiful as ever. A lot more people though!

The Misread

I frequently misread signs. Who knows? Maybe it's a mild case of dyslexia! I usually find the misread sign quite amusing.

Like the "Do not overtake turning vehicles" sign on the back of semi-trailers, which I always see as "Do not overtake overturning vehicles". This, to me, would appear to be quite an obvious piece of advice. Then again, looking at this photo, it would hardly seem to matter...

Today I walked passed a Thai restaurant that appeared to be offering "Causal Dining"