Award Winning Business Losing

There's a yum-cha restaurant nearby that proudly displays the sign "2010 Small Business Champion Awards - Winner". 

Now I'm sure that's not to be sneezed at and they're no doubt rightly pleased about it but it actually discourages me from dining there.  To me, winning a small business award is rather like getting a recommendation from an accountant.  Now if it was a recommendation from a food crtic, say the "2010 Restaurant Award" or "2010 Best Yum Cha Award", it would be a different story but "Best Business"?  To my, admittedly paranoid, mind, that suggests the propieters have simply found the most cunning way to overcharge their customers. 

iYob

The other night on a whim I wandered down to The Basement to catch Daniel Weltinger's Django Reinhardt tribute show. 

The Basement is usually home to a well-informed crowd of music-lovers and one of the very few venues that would host this kind of show.  I say "usually" because on this night, the crowd was unbelievably boorish, talking loudly throughout the show, many of them feverishly tapping on their mobile phones.  At first I was annoyed at not being able to enjoy the music but then, as it became apparent that the musicians were also startled by the "ambient" noise-level, it felt embarrassing to be part of such a yobbish audience.

To cap it off, the guy next to me loudly starts to tell his mate about the new lyrics he's just written and is trying to find them on his phone.  So here I am trying to listen to the band play music that has stood the test of time for over 60 years and this clown thinks his latest thoughts are more worthy of everyone's attention. 

I'm about to lean over and tell the guy that unless the lyrics feature self-obsessed morons with delusions of grandeur and attention deficit disorder, they don't contain enough personal insight.   Then I remember that that's what thoughts are for.  

Cinemanomics - 2 x 12 = 18

I probably go to the movies twice a year.  The $18 ticket before we even get to the ridiculous food prices, which are second apparently, only to the airport, is too steep for me.  The "half-price" Tuesday ticket at $12 is an insult to my intelligence - I know what half of 18 is. 

No wonder people just figure that they will buy the DVD in a couple of months.  With big screens and surround-sound systems a lot more common than they used to be, people will just skip the cinema altogether. 

I know I'm not alone precisely because I did actually feel very alone while catching a movie earlier in the year.  There were perhaps 4 people in the session.  Granted, the movie was in its final week and it wasn't an evening session but a room that empty would suggest a broken business model.  

This model would appear to be based solely on the premise that there are enough fools prepared to pay sufficiently over-the-odds to make up for all of the empty sessions.  The problem with this model is that it only has one solution to any problem, namely to keep increasing the prices to an ever-decreasing audience.  Surely, the plan should be about attracting more customers. 

Here's something for cinema chains to consider: if the ticket was actually $9, I'd go to more than double the number of movies I currently do.  In fact, throw in a choc-top for $1, giving me a great 10 buck movie deal, I'd go every month.  By halving cost, they would make more than five times as much money out of me (admittedly not counting my cheap choc-top but I'm sure they'd still be making money on that anyway). 

So why won't that happen?

Yes We Have No Bananas

If there's one thing I definitely do not understand, it's economics.  Shortly the RBA will be meeting to decide whether or not to put up interest rates.  One of the main causes for concern apparently is that the price of fruit, bananas being the most quoted example, has gone up dramatically following last year's Queensland floods.

Now I get that part.  I can understand that if 70% of a state was underwater, less fruit is grown and because demand can therefore not be met, prices go up. 

What I don't understand is how making me pay an extra $20 a week on my mortgage is going to solve that problem.  My paying an extra $20 doesn't suddenly make all the water go away and the trees come back.  There's still a shortage of fruit.   

Now perhaps, for some people, that extra mortgage payment suddenly means that they'll stop buying fruit and therefore the demand and price will drop but in my opinion there is no rationality to that argument.  Those people who want to buy fruit and can still afford it are still going to do so.  The rest of us just think about the good times when we could afford fruit.  We've already stopped adding to the demand side of the equation. 

No wonder they call it "The Dismal Science".

But the real kicker?  Other than the extra mortgage repayments?  I don't even like bananas!

iNoLookWhereiGo

I'm going to start walking down the street doing cool things on my phone. 

I haven't got a phone that does cool things but I don't see why I should be the only person looking where they're going.  Don't blame me if we bump into each other.

There Should Be A Law About...Umbrellas!

After three days of rain, one can only be struck, often literally so, by the lack of etiquette regarding the use of umbrellas. 

A lot of the Sydney CBD is fortunately under cover, which is handy on a rainy day.  It would be even more handy if people didn't walk under those awnings with their umbrellas up. 

The menace comes in two forms.  The first is the District 9 Mothership-sized umbrella-wielding individual.  Yes, it's a great umbrella but why are you worried about getting it wet?  The second is the usually shorter person operating in ostrich-stealth mode, umbrella pulled tightly down around their head, completely oblivious to everybody else ducking and weaving around them trying to avoid getting their eyes poked out.

It's simple really.  If you've got your umbrella up, you can walk in the rain; that's what it's for.  If you want to walk under cover alongside the less-prepared, please take it down.

Strange Recall

Filling in a spreadsheet today, in respect of risk probabilities  which is about as exciting as it sounds.  Perhaps this is why I found myself staring at the word "medium".  You know, if you look at a word too long, it starts to look strange and then you start to wonder if you've spelt it correctly. 

I was just thinking that there ought to be a word that describes this phenomenon and then I remembered the old Two Ronnies gag.  The one about the midget psychic who'd escaped from prison.  Police were looking for a small medium at large.  The link is to a different skit but you'll see they really don't write them like that anymore.

So my tip for today is forget about inventing new words.  Instead, try remembering old jokes.  It's better for your health.

Zu Are You?

Here's a list what Google Instant serves up when you type in the first letter for each letter of the alphabet (in Australia, on my PC, at any rate):

• ANZ
• BOM
• Centrelink
• Domain
• Ebay
• Facebook
• Gmail
• Hotmail
• iTunes
• Jetstar
• Kmart
• Lasoo
• Myer
• Netbank
• Optus
• Paypal
• Qantas
• RTA
• Seek
• TPG
• UAC
• Vodafone
• White Pages
• XE
• YouTube
• Zu

Clearly, banks/money, real estate/shopping, email/social networking, the odd holiday and even the weather all loom large, but Zu? Apparently it's a shoe store. Shoes? Really? Who are these people?

Mirror Mirror

I love how, when you've finished getting your hair cut, the hairdresser holds a mirror up to show you the back of your head. The problem with this is that at any given time, I have no idea what the back of my head looks like, so I'm pretty clueless as to whether what I'm being shown is actually an improvement.

I'm pretty sure that when I say "That's great!" as I invariably do, it's either because I never cease to be amazed by the simplicity of the two-mirror trick, or, much worse, it could be because I'm just very excited to be seeing the back of my head again...

Widescreen People

I got myself a nice new widescreen TV a while back and while it's great, you do have to make a call on which setting to use when viewing older non-widescreen shows.

I usually opt to stretch the picture so that it takes up the whole screen but it does mean people look shorter and fatter.

Surprisingly, this is less disconcerting than you might imagine. Possibly it's because I'm finding that when I walk around outside, I also see widescreen people. Everywhere. They waddle amongst us.

Moving Backwards

I heard yesterday that a North Shore school is banning plastic water bottles and replacing them with...drumroll...water bubblers! Wow! I seem to recall these at school (and much high-jinks around them) over 30 years ago. Whatever next? Children walking/cycling to school?

Seriously though, all credit to them. Hopefully they'll be the start of a generation that doesn't feel compelled to walk down George St carrying a water bottle in their hand just in case, you know, you die of thirst, which obviously happens a lot on George St.

Road Calm

Today I saw a tourist stop crossing the road to take a picture while only three-quarters of the way across. She seemed completely unaware of the growing line of drivers at the intersection waiting to turn. Now I've been a clueless tourist at various times in my life, so it wasn't the absent-minded thoughtlessness of the tourist that caught my attention; it was the fact that nobody hooted at her.

Maybe everybody's feeling extra-relaxed because we've got 4 days off work.